Fallen Angel ~ Insert

Prologue

Sweet Haven, Texas

“Dear Lord, I really need your help.” A somber little girl prayed aloud her golden head bent and her big sad brown eyes squeezed tightly as she concentrated with all her might over her small steeped hands. “I need help with Papa. Ever since Mama went to Heaven to be with You, Papa’s been different. I need a…” She opened her big brown eyes glancing about the empty old church in hopes she would know what to ask God.

Her eyes studied the small wooden cross high on the wall in front of her wondering why her mother had been called to God’s kingdom last year. But she wasn’t bitter not like her Papa. He was a different papa now that Mama was gone. He wasn’t mean but he was just so sad it made her want to cry. Sweeping the large chamber with one final glance, she noticed something. Something that could solve her dilemma and hopeful get her Papa back again.

“That’s it!” Closing her eyes tight she reached her little chin on her hands, her heart beating frantically, she took a deep breath to steady her. He was just so sad and hurt when Mama left he didn’t seem to care about his children. “Oh Lord, please send my daddy an angel!”

“Who are you talking too, my child?” Father Conner asked softly standing quietly behind her coming to stand behind her in the quiet church. He had only heard the last of her conversion something about an angel but he wasn’t sure why Jerome Hawkins’ daughter was doing here, alone in the old church. The Hawkins’ haven’t been to a sermon since the untimely death of Jerome’s wife, Clara.

“Oh, Father Conner!” Rachel Ann Hawkins gasped as she sharply twisted about from her knelling position before the alter. A guiltily blush colored her cheeks as if she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar. “I came to talk to God, Father. Mama always said when I wanted to talk to God it was best to come to the church.”

“Bless you, child. Your mother was a wonderful woman. I miss her friendship very much.” Father Conner patted Rachel Ann’s golden curls as he past her. “I came here to work on my sermon. Would you like to hear it?”

The church doors slammed opened against the wall as there stood her father. “Rachel Ann Hawkins!” Jerome roared furiously charging up the aisle like an enraged lion. His hand shot out and grabbed her arm hauling her to her feet. His smoldering black eyes savagely racked down his tiny daughter‘s form looking for any injury. “What did I say about wonderin’ off like that? What if something happened to you? What if I never found you again?”

“But Papa, all I wanted to do was talk to God like Mama did.” Huge crocodile tears ran down her pale cheeks watching her father become even angrier with her. “I-I-I’m so-sorry, Papa. I won’t do it again!”

“You can’t always do what you want to do, young lady! Now I missed my pick up at the store. And where the hell is your brother? He was supposed to be watchin' you." His strong arms scooped her up safely wrapping about her trembling body holding her tightly against his thundering heart. He could have so easily lost her! His son was going to answer to him for allowing his baby girl to wander away like she did.

Rachel Ann stubbornly remained mute waiting for the storm to abate. She didn’t want to get her brother in trouble with Papa. Lately, it seemed they were constantly fighting with each other over stupid little things. How she longed to have her loving Papa come back to her and hold her and tell her everything was going to be all right? Where did that Papa go? Did he go with Mama and this mean angry man was the only thing she had left? Not wanting to get her older brother in trouble, she bowed her head hoping for her miracle angel would appear.

“I see you found her and in one piece.” Warren Hawkins sauntered up to them like he didn’t have a care in the world. He studied his baby sister cry dispassionately on their father’s shoulder and envied her that it was al right for her to cry because she was a girl, and the baby of the family. Lord knows how many times he wished he could go to his unfeeling father and cry his grief on his other strong shoulder. But men weren’t allowed to show any sissy emotion like tears or any other weakness in front of others. His emerald green eyes narrowed on his father wishing again he could be held like that then became angry at himself for such an unmanly thought. He was eight years old and that was old enough to be a man.

“Wait until we get home, son.” Jerome snarled hotly reining his boiling temper sharply. He’d be damned to hell if he would chastise his children before Father Conner. He carried his precious daughter from the church and his son somberly followed suit.

“I’d really hope you all would come back to church on Sunday. We miss having you here.” Father Conner’s kind words drifted after them falling on deaf ears. He somehow knew he wouldn’t see Jerome or his children any time soon.

“Oh Lord, what is going to happen to them now? Who is strong enough to save their souls?” Only silence answered his heartfelt prayer as he reluctantly opened his Bible for his sermon on Sunday

Heaven’s Hall

“Angels in training please come to order!” The High Spirit, or most commonly known as Mother Spirit, commanded softly waiting patiently for the young spirits to settle down. Her compassionated pale lavender eyes swept over the gang of heavenly beings trying to located one that would heal a grieving family over a recent loss.

“Angel Amber, where is young Sapphire?” Mother Spirit demanded to know of the second in command for she hadn’t seen the one she knew would be perfect for the upcoming assignment. This was the case that would decide is the young Spirit Sapphire would get her wing and join the ranks of her fellow angels.

“I sent her to fetch the Book. She should be back by now.” Angel Amber said absent mindedly as she turned to the entrance of the Hall a slight scowl marred her smooth brow. “I think I hear her coming, Mother Spirit.”

The racket blasted form the tall arched opened doors and all reeled about to see what it was all about. A young spirit with long pale honey brown hair disarrayed about her slender shoulders stood clutching the big Book that was requested for the meeting.

The other spirits broke into soft laughter like bells chimed on a breeze causing Sapphire’s cheeks to glow rosily in embarrassment. She tried to ignore the rude gloating amongst her sisters spirits as she thrust her chin out proudly and carried the Book to the High Spirit’s alter.

“I’m sorry I’m late, Mother Spirit.” She carefully laid the Book in its cradle on the dais before she quickly took her seat with the others.

“So Saphie, did you meet anyone on your journey?” Spirit Lesley asked spitefully fully knowing that she hadn’t been sent on her final assessment that would gain her wings.

“Lesley, leave her alone! Not every spirit has the good fortune of completing it’s training.” Twinette defended her best friend pausing for a moment to ponder about something then said, “Oh, wait! You haven’t been either, or at least I don’t see your wings!”

“Attention, attention Heavenly sisters. Mother has called this meeting in haste and we cannot afford to delay any longer. Please take your seats.” Angel Amber smiled at her girls satisfied as they quickly settled down again. She was worried about Sapphire and Lesley. It seem of late Lesley was growing to be a dark angel not like Sapphire and the other spirit’s emotions were turning for the worst. She would have to talk to Mother about it.

“As you all well know, the Father received an urgent plea to help a young child’s family through a difficult time. He wanted me to hand pick the spirit for this special case.

“The Father wants us to understand that this project will be vastly difficult and very trying for the most experienced of angels. But, alas I can only pick one that shall truly heal this desperate family.” Mother looked at each spirit in turn settling on Sapphire longer than the others before she cleared her throat to continue.

“I need to see Lesley, Twinette and…Sapphire in my private chambers for their assignments. The rest of you are free to enjoy the glorious day.” Mother nodded to Angel Amber before she retired to her chambers.

Angel Amber cleared the Hall without further ado then showed the three apparitions to Mother’s chambers. “Twinette, you will enter first, then Lesley.” She took Twinette’s trembling hand in hers as they entered the silent chambers.

“I should have been the first to see Mother!” Lesley whined childishly waiting impatiently for her turn with only Sapphire’s company. When would she get to be Mother’s favorite? She was tired of waiting for Sapphire to mess up royally, Nothing that spirit could do would change Mother’s feeling for her! It wasn’t fair!

Sapphire disregard her peer’s repulsive manners too busy fretting over her future. She longed to be just like Mother Spirit for so many years. This mission would decide her future as a heavenly angel. Would she at last get her coveted wings and finally call Heaven her home? Would she finally have the respect of her peers and not their hurtful ridicule?

She didn’t know how long she sat there on the hard wooden bench or how long she prayed, although it felt like what humans called a lifetime before Angel Amber stood in front of her with clasped hands.

“Sapphire it is time,” she smiled reassuringly at the nervous girl spirit knowing exactly how she felt for Angel Amber had been in the same position centuries ago. Amber remembered long ago when she was called for her assignment and she has been so nervous she thought she’d never get her wings, and here she was with her heavenly wings on her back.

“Follow me.”

Sapphire took a deep breath to calm her anxiety as she dutifully trailed behind the beautiful angel hoping her assignment would help someone in need. Saying a quick silent prayer that her knees would support her weight and not buckle beneath her making her look like a foolish clutch.


“Mother, here’s Sapphire as you requested.” Angel Amber announced to the older siren angel then withdrew from the chambers wondering what task Sapphire would be given. It would prove to be interesting to say the least.

“I shall make this short, my dear. You are being sent to Earth to help heal a family’s grief. It is up to you as to how to accomplish this. I see you have completed your angels-in-waiting training. Godspeed.”

“Wait! Is there anything else you can tell me? Please,”

“Only that you will become mortal once again with no memory of your time with us and you’re heart will guide you.”

Then Sapphire felt herself weightlessly falling from the large fluffy clouds like a leaf fluttering down from a tree branch. How was she going to accomplish this vital task set before her? More importantly what family would need her to heal their grief?

Chapter One

“Emma, Papa’s lookin’ for you.” Millicent Retch, her younger spoiled cousin gleefully told her as she came into the old drafty barn. “Are you in here, Emma? I said my papa is lookin’ for you.”

“I am here, Millicent,” a petite sprite with large amethyst eyes and a wild mass of golden brown hair, cautiously stepped from her little room in the back of the barn. She had been all about the property looking for her black kitten with white feet she named Boots. “Have you seen Boots?”

“Papa found that varmint on the porch this morning. He said you are to come to the house right away. I think it’s to punish you for slacking in your chores and your stupid dumb kitty. He’s waitin’ for you in his study.”

Without another word, Emma raced from the barn afraid for her pet and what her uncle wanted from her now. She had finished all her chores early wanting to visit with her precious pet for a few moments. She still found it hard to believe her beloved mother had died when she was a child for she swore she could still feel her love all around her…until she was with her uncle. She was only eight when she came to live with him after mother’s death. Now it was ten years later and not much has changed other than her relatives became more demanding in their needs.

“Where have you been, little trouble maker? Your aunt had to serve her guests refreshments herself. You were supposed to be in the kitchen, Niece.” Uncle Kyle growled from behind his large dark desk too busy reading a contract to glance at her. “What do you have to say for yourself this time? I am getting weary of all you excuses for not getting your work done.”

“Where’s my kitten, uncle? Millicent said you saw her this morn.” She always finished her chores but lately it was getting too much for her to handle alone. Trying to look on the brighter side of life was getting harder and harder. She had hoped her uncle and aunt would learn to love her as she had love them. She prayed to God they would see she needed their love more than their distain.

“What did you say to me, you ungrateful bag of trouble?” Slowly the thick contract was placed on his desk as he turned his attention to his head strong niece. Only when she first came here did she ever dare defy him for she knew what the punishment was for such defiance. However did his dolce sister give birth to such a defiant wench? Must have been from the father whoever he was, damn and blast his soul for saddling him with another mouth to feed! It was left to him to see the girl was raised properly but it galled him to do so.

“I want my kitten, Boots back.” Her slender shoulders were thrust back as her chin notched in stubbornness, knowing what her defiance was going to bring and for once not caring what happened to her if only her kitten was fine. Please Lord, let Boots be all right!

“Let me sure I have this right, niece. You demand to have your little kitty back at this very instant? Do you remember what happens to a certain girl who back talks me? I believe a trip to the barn is in order. What do you think?” His large hand reached for the ever present thick leather belt he had at hand when he talked to her.

“I want my pet back and I don’t care if you beat me. Boots didn’t do anything to you. Millicent said you had Boots this morning and I want to know what you did to her!”

“You…demand?“ he sputtered in disbelief staring at her for the very first time and seeing a beautiful young woman. He felt his boiling blood raced though him settling in his groin. How long has it been since he felt like this? Months? Year? “Let’s go.” He forgot the belt as he cruelly grabbed her upper arm and dragged her to the barn. He would teach her to defy him!
Emma tried to keep calm as the barn doors closed behind them and her uncle’s angry command to his men, “We’re not the be bothered!”

“Yes sir,” one of the cowboys said as he stood guard at the double barn doors. His kept his eyes averted not noticing this time Kyle forgot his belt. The last time someone tried to stop the malicious old bastard he was fired and thrown off the ranch without pay.

“Your mother never gave me this much trouble when she lived with me. She unlike you knew her place. Haven’t I been good to you since you came to live with us? I’ve tried again and again to tech you how to behave as a woman should and you refuse to do so! I guess it’s time for you to learn what’s its like to be a woman, huh? Well I’m more than man enough to teach you, girile.
Emma was alarmed by his uncharacteristic tirade not to mention the sudden tension in him. What was happening? What was he talking about to learn what it means to be a woman? She’s been a woman since she first bleed five years ago.

Suddenly her musings were shattered as Kyle took great delight in taking hold of her frayed shirt and tore the buttons from their moorings spraying them all over the barn’s dirt floor. Her poor shirt listlessly hung open baring her to Kyle hot beady eyes. His busy hand destroyed her thin chemise in short order.

“What are you doing? Stop it! No!” Emma slapped his hand away to no prevail vainly covering her quivering bosom with her arm. “Help, help!” She knew it was useless to cry out but she wasn’t about to allow whatever her uncle wanted from her. Just as he pinned her again the rough barn wall with his legs forced between hers and his sloppy wet kisses tried to take her nipple into his mouth was he yanked off her.

“What the hell…? What are you doing here Father Conner?” Kyle gasped breathlessly his passions weakened his keen mind as he shook his lust from his head. “This is between me and my niece. You have no right to stop me! Get the hell out of here before I have you thrown from my property.”

“Oh’ I’ll leave all right but not without the girl.” The man of the cloth towered forebodingly above them. He couldn’t believe old man Retch was trying to rape his niece and no one tried to stop him. He was on his way here to do visits with the Retch’s but now that wasn’t possible after what he witnessed here. There was no way he could leave the girl here defenseless again this monster.

“What do you mean you’re not leaving without her? She’s none of your concern, man. Just leave before I loss what patience I have left.”

“Come, my child.” The Father held out his large hand to the frightened girl willing her to trust him to keep her safe but her hesitating wasn’t promising either. “Do you really want to stay here?”

Emma grabbed his hand without further thought for indeed she didn’t want to see one more day slaving for these people. She quickly brushed down her shirks and her other hand clutched her shirt closed. It occurred to her that if her relatives were going to change they would have long ago. No, they would continue to work her into an early grave and there were things she wanted to do in her life before it was over.

“I won’t let you have her, Father. Randy, Hoss, Billy get your asses in here right now!” Kyle bellowed loudly as he could gratified when his men showed up running.

“Thank you, but perhaps you should just leave. I’ll be fine.” Emma lied badly for she trembled under his reassuringly arm wrapped about her shoulders. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself should any harm come to her rescuer. No it was better to send him on his way before his foolishness cost him his heath.

These three men were only called when her uncle was unable to defend himself and Emma was suddenly scared for Father Conner. He would be picked apart in no time.

“No you won’t be. Besides you’re a terrible liar, little one.” His amusement colored his voice as he set her behind him ready for whatever was to come. One thing he did know was they would have to kill him before he handed her over to her uncle.

“Uh, boss I’m not goin’ tae rough up a preacher man,” Hoss shifted uneasily looking at his friends to see what they would do and they nodded in agreement. They would do just about anything for money but to harm women, children and preachers went against their code and honor.

“Cowards! I pay you to do as I say, dammit. Fine then, get the man out of here but Emma is to remain here.”

“I’m not leaving her with you a moment longer, Mr. Retch.” Father Conner took Emma’s hand in his own warm one as he started for the gaping open doors. “I will say a prayer for all your souls and I expect to see you all in church come Sunday, boys.”

“Yes sir,” they mumbled in unison shamefaced.

Father Conner helped Emma into his wagon when a weak meow cried out to them. The Father bent down and saw a young kitten crawling to them in a pitiful heap. Gently he scooped up the injured animal giving it to Emma.

“Boots!” She cried happily holding the baby cat to her aching bosom. “What did he do to you, sweetness? You were supposed to stay in the barn where you’d been safe. Oh, look at your poor self.” The kitten was filthy as if she gotten into mud under the house and her soft fur was matted with some blood.

Emma’s heart twisted for her poor pet as she cuddled her closer to her warmth. “Don’t worry my sweet, we are leaving and never coming back.” Please God don’t let her have to ever come back here! She was glad when the wagon left Retch land and headed back towards the church.
She hadn’t been to church since her mother passed away years ago. What would she find there? Her aunt told her it was a shame the church fell to hard times for it was once one of the beautiful places in Sweet Heaven. Too bad it went to ruins she would have loved to see it in all its glory.

“I don’t know how to thank you enough Father Conner. I haven’t any money to give to the church and I want to repay you for going against my uncle. Not many people would dare.”

“That’s good you don’t have money for I have little use for it. But I do need your help.” Father Conner patted her hand reassuringly for in a few minutes they would be at the church. He would need her help with a certain problem he was having with one family.

“What could I do to help you? I only know how to be a servant and I don’t think you need a housekeeper for the church. “

“We’ll get you some clothes from the patrons that donated to the church for others worst off first of all, then after dinner we’ll discuss how you can help me. Indeed God works in mysterious ways, my child.”

True to their word Hoss, Randy and Billy were present at church that Sunday however curiously her uncle, aunt and cousin weren’t and Emma was secretly glad. She wouldn’t want to embarrass Father Conner for all his kindness he shown her over this past week with her uncle causing a scene.

“Journey of the Inner Mind?”

Time has come to choose which style in life that is best for me:
I think too much about things that could occur, but may not
How, oh how does one really know…what channel to surf, as well as feel free in the decision this is the best method?
Only one person could ascertain the aces in their deck…discouraging, yes not to know which avenue to design, but imagine how dreams are born in our very hearts and arise to certain greatness
Nevertheless, my friends… think of the wondrous campaigns to find yourself
Ponder for a moment, the free will we are granted in life…we can be or do anything we desire
The only device stand in one’s way mayhap be the daunting fear of the unknown
…Or possibly a deeper appetite of failure… or even not the self-esteem of worth…
To inscribe my bequeath is to be a writer here and now; a piece of me to will live after my spirit is called to the mighty Heavens of our Gods…
Just thing of all the outcast, bias, repugnant baggage we face as one bloodline and that reflect on what can I better for myself as well as others…
And in that conceivably your revelation shall lay.

~L.M.ACTONMarch 3, 2001

Hearts Ablazed ~ Insert

Chapter One

November, New York

“Don’t forget we have a doctor’s appointment today after work, boss lady.” Maggie Sterling reminded her busy boss as she passed by her opened door bared down with other fashion accounts.

“What are you talking about, Maggie?” LaRayne DeWinter briefly looked up from her clustered desk trying to make sense of the jumbled Jackson Enterprises accounts. They were a mess with missing information and costly materials changes. Although to no fault of her little company their clients had made so many changes since the original designs patterns. The last minute alterations had prices skyrocketing from the original contract that the client only wanted to the best to be working on it. So that meant her since she was the boss.

She had only just received notice from the contact person, a Miss Christy Adams, today that her boss personally requested to have her work hands on the reinventions of the Jackson’s cruise lines. At least one of the ships the owner had didn’t like any of the color skits her top designers had spent so much time and effort to put together.

So for the most of the morning, afternoon and early evening this was her top priory in order to finally make her little designer store world known. Her dream ever since she was a little girl almost a reality after years of growing up poor with a baby sister to help her mother raise. The man who has sired them came from a very wealthy old family from the South and who believed her mother was social suicide to marry beneath his station. LaRayne wasn’t about to let her mother and sister fall through the cracks of the welfare system making just enough money not to collect any type of aide.

LaRayne threw herself in her work harder and faster to be able to help support her humble family. Now was her chance to get her mother the little cottage by the lake she always dreamed about and lastly to get them out of the city, and that little rat hole that housed her family in the seedy part of the city.

“Don’t tell me you forgot! LaRayne Lisbeth DeWinter, I cannot believe you!” Maggie quickly passed her an armload of files of another worker before she closeted herself in her boos’ office. “The most important doctor’s appointment about your health you have to go to every month ever since you came back from your cruise! Really, I don’t know what you would do without me.”

“Perhaps, have a bit more money to sink back into my company?” LaRayne mischievously teased soften by a tiny grin on her pouty pink lips, but her friend wasn’t having any of that. “I was only kidding, I’ll have you know. Of course, I would be a basket case without you, Mags.”

“Your health isn’t a laughing matter with me as well as you know.” Maggie had lost her husband at an early age because he refused to see a doctor about the lump he developed on his chest. He was later diagnosed with fatal cancer and only had a couple of months left to live. If he only had went to the doctor's earlier they might have been able to detect it and give him a fighting chance.

“I didn’t mean…” Words rarely failed LaRayne and this was one of those sporadic times, so she snapped her mouth shut in graceful defeat. “Listen, I’m sorry but I’m not like William. I really have to finish this report by the end of the day.”

“At the risk of losing your baby? Try again.” Her personal assistant sharply recapped her boss’ condition, her cat like green eyes lower her LaRayne’s slightly curving belly and was filled with remembered pain for not only did she lose her husband but unborn their baby to boot. “I don’t think that I could live with the fact you miscarried with improper health care. I had to live through it once.

“And speaking of babies and where they come from…” she hedged stubbornly ever since LaRayne told her she was having a baby. “Are you ever going to tell me who the father is? I know you had to met him on the cruise! Spill!”

“I told you it shouldn’t have happened. He is a married man.”

“That didn’t stop him from bedding you before he got around to telling you about his snooty physco bitch of a screwball of a wife. You must have a picture from the cruise you went on. He’s got to be in at least one of them!”

Maggie had surprised LaRayne with a vacation cruise to get away from the stress of the office and to enjoy herself since she rarely took the time to enjoy life. It had to do more with the plain fact she was driving her staff crazy because everything had to be perfect.

So, for one month with nothing to do but relax in the sun and enjoy the sun on a tropical voyage, all she had to do was to enjoy herself. At least that was the plan until she met the man of her dreams. Tall, dark and handsome with stormy fervent dark bedroom eyes that could strip a nun naked without feeling like it was a sin.

Those weeks were magical for her as she spent every moment she could with him, never daring to believe another woman already had claimed him for a romantic cruise. God, if she started to think about him she would cry and never stop, felling her eyes brimmed with hot moisture. No, it was safer to tell herself it was all a beautiful dream that nothing that wonderful could be real. Until she ended up pregnant from their incredible one night of steamy hot love one read only in romance novels on a stormy night when the power when out.

She would never believed such passion was real till it nearly knocked her down and stole her breath from its tenderness. She was too much of a practical person to think the ‘movie magic’ syndrome that came in the size of the man of her dreams.

“Ohh, don’t you dare shed a tear for that jerk! Whoever he is! You didn’t know until it was too late to put an end to it, honey.” Maggie gathered her close trying to calm the raging storm that brew within her since the day she read the home pregnancy test and all those rushed runs to the bathroom before she tossed her cookies.

Doctor Rakel Nolan had told her her morning sickness would be waning soon. The sooner the better, LaRayne firmly kept telling herself over and over again. All she needed to do was munch on toast or crackers for the morning sickness to leave her in peace. The only problem with that was just the mere thought of food…“Oh no!”

Maggie barely got the wastebasket to her as she dry heaved herself silly and then some for good measure. “C’mon, let’s get you to the sofa, ‘mom’.”

LaRayne leaned heavily on Maggie’s offered shoulder praying the nausea and the queasiness away. She wondered what God she offended to have to endure this part of being a woman. Her mother told her time and time again she had spent a single day with morning sickness with her two joyfully beautiful babies.

Her mother hardly talked about their father, only that he was an important man with other responsibilities. Adrian LaRayne DeWinter always had a sad far away look in her soft blue eyes each time they asked about their father.

LaRayne hated him for that, hurting the most sweetest woman she ever knew and for leaving them to fend for themselves. When she would meet him one day she would tell him he didn’t deserve her mother or his daughters. She would also inform he they were too good and important to have him in their lives.

She could only surmise this was just punishment of sleeping with a married man. If she slept with a single man surely she wouldn’t be punished like this. It was the only thing she could tell herself other than soon this semester would end…only for another to begin.

“I don’t understand why God made woman bearers for children. I would love to see a man try to handle this.”

“Ah, but we women couldn’t hold it over their heads for the rest of their lives.” Maggie chuckled wickedly a bright twinkle lit her usually somber eyes. “Just think if you told me who the father is I’d make him suffer worst than you, my friend. You know you can count on me.”

“I can just image,” LaRayne sighed wearily wishing the day was over so she could go home to her new kitten and her big comfy bed. Ahh, Heaven. Yet for now not a possibility because she had to get in order the Jackson account and then go to her doctor’s appointment.

“We have to leave now if we are to make the appointment, dearie.” Maggie took the papers from her hands laid them on the clustered desk with varied samples skits for the hotel rooms. She grabbed their coats from the coat rack by LaRayne’s closed office door. “I’m driving.”

“We?” LaRayne groaned uneasily especially when she had to have Maggie drive her anywhere. The woman was a road warrior terror in any kind of traffic. She would be safer taking a cab or the subway than driving with her.

Throwing up her hands in surrender she snatched her purse from her desk drawer as she followed. She hoped after seeing the doctor she would be able to get back to the office to do some more work.

The drive wasn’t as bad as LaRayne thought although, there was a time when she thought she’d end up in the hospital when another vehicle cut them off in front of them from an oncoming ramp. Her ears were still ringing from the words her assistant threw out the window while they passed the truck. Luckily it stopped there and the big intimating man took the next exist not before he threw her the finger.

“What did I do?” She whispered to herself having enough to do with men to last her a lifetime. They were nothing but trouble from the first she met the man that impregnated her. Just take a long good look at her.

“We’re here to see Dr. Nolan.” Maggie told the desk nurse not about to wait for the nurse to service her. She took care of all the paper work as LaRayne silently fretted as she had every time she had to come see her doctor. She knew she wasn’t following Dr. Nolan orders and the woman would know it just as soon as she had her sitting in a paper gown seated on the edge of the table.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” Maggie hovered closely a frown marred her smooth brow chancing a look at her when she had asked her a question on the form she didn’t know.
It was really wonderful to have her childhood friend for her assistant because there weren’t many uncomfortable moments between them. They had met nearly twenty years ago through the old neighborhood.

Maggie had family across the street from where she lived on the better side of town. It was instant friendship and they became very close despite the years they attended colleges. LaRayne had always tried to keep tabs on her afraid she would have lost her very best friend.
“Earth to Rainy? Are you okay or do you want me to get Dr. Nolan right now?”

“Ah, no I can wait. Really, I’m fine. I think it was something I ate that didn’t agree with me.” She lied smoothly hating to do so but she didn’t want Maggie to worry about her when she was finally dating again. She knew if Maggie knew about the high-risk pregnancy she would never leave her alone. Some things LaRayne needed to do alone and nurturing her baby was one of them.

“You don’t look all right to me. I’m getting the doctor, so you might as well give…” the words fazed out with an insistent buzzing in LaRayne’s ears. She tried to shack her head but her vision dimmed and suddenly her body strangely heavy like she was falling.

“Oh my God, get Dr. Nolan now! Don’t just stand stupid there!”

“LaRayne? Can you hear me? It’s Dr. Nolan. I want you to open your eyes for me. Can you do that?” A female harried voice demanded to know as LaRayne felt a cold compresses on her forehead and around her neck.

Why did doctors always ask insane questions like that? Of course, she could open her eyes! When she tried they suddenly felt so heavy like they had tiny persistent weighs tied to each lid. How was she going to get them open, she wondered in a dazed panic.

“I warned her about this.” Dr. Nolan sighed heavily still trying to revive her patient from her faint. She hazarded a glance over her shoulder at Maggie. “You shouldn’t be in here.”

“Warned her about what?” Maggie blithely ignored her as she snapped sharply worried about her friend and her unborn baby. “She didn’t tell me anything about being warned. Tell me, Dr. Nolan just what did you warn her about?”

Oh dear God, please shut the doctor up! Please don’t let her say anything to Maggie. LaRayne prayed silently knowing she would never hear the end of it. She just wanted to sleep and have a little peace in her life.

“Who are you? I don’t remember Miss DeWinter with you the last time she came for her visit.”

“I’m her sister, Jewel DeWinter. Can’t you see the family resemblance? I had a lot of people think I was my sister.” Maggie innocently introduced herself not about to let up until she had her questions answered.

LaRayne would have happily strangled her if she could get her body to follow her orders. Pity, she remained where she was laying.

“What’s wrong with my sister?” Maggie folded her arms across her chest impatiently waiting for the doctor to spill the beans. “The only way I’ll leave you alone is if you tell me. All right, my sister would want you to tell me. I promise.”

“Weeelll…the stress is the main cause LaRayne is experiencing compilations with her pregnancy. This is one of the many warning signs. She has to take it easy or she may end up losing the baby if not her health.”

LaRayne felt like she was in a coffin and the doctor’s helpful words hammered the loose nails nicely through the lid. She wanted to have her baby! She already loved it with a fierce protectiveness that stole her breath away each time she thought about the baby’s father finding out about them. She knew without a doubt he would take the baby away once she gave birth given by his wife’s spiteful words the night she caught them together. She wasn’t about to let that happen. She would be damned to hell for a lifetime before she gave up her baby to anyone. Even to the Grim Reaper him or herself!

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me! When she wakes up, just she waits until she gets a load of me.” Maggie’s harsh words caused LaRayne to inwardly wince. She could only image the terror Maggie would reign over her and the months to come. Actually she may never want to come out from her faint. Could she actually fake a coma?

“I can’t have you adding to her stress, Miss DeWinter.”

“Call me Jewel, please and I would never add to her stress, but take as much of it away as I can.” She reassured the doctor a gleeful smile that brightened her face.

“Very well,” then to she turned all her attention back to her patient. “LaRayne, I want you to focus on my voice and slowly open your eyes for me.”

The first thing she saw was Dr. Nolan’s concerned face then “Jewel’s” cheerfully vengeful one. Oh yeah, she was in some hot water here. She could only wait and see what the little imp had planned for her and nearly groaned aloud her misery. As if morning sickness wasn’t punishment enough. God made sure she had Maggie to hover over her like a wet hen wanting to protect her chic.

“Welcome back, there.” Maggie’s smile increased delightfully as the doctor began to check her patient. “Image the good report Dr. Nolan kindly informed me.”

LaRayne had been moved to an examining room in the back of the doctor’s office after her faint and for which she was eternally grateful. She didn’t want to think of the scene she caused when she fainted or the even bigger fuss Maggie caused.

“I see that you also lost more weight, LaRayne. It could be from the morning sickness, but you need to really start eating more or it’s another risk to you both.” The doctor commented gravely but overall pleased how the trimester was coming along. “Pretty soon you’ll feel a fluttering in your belly. That will be the baby moving.”

“Moving?” LaRayne squeaked nervously looking at Maggie for support only to find her so-called sister smiling from ear to ear. She knew babies moved within the womb but to her it was akin to unbelievable. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to feel it moving inside of me.”

“Calm down, now. It’s perfectly normal and by the by it’s too late to abort the child.” Dr. Nolan’s practiced smile plainly told her she became used to mothers-to-be about things like this nature. She knew LaRayne wanted the baby or she would have terminated the pregnancy long before now. They had discussed the options available to her, but LaRayne flatly refused to do anything except have her baby.

“It doesn’t hurt, Rainy.” Maggie confided in a soft whisper beside her. “It feels soft like angel wings the first couple of times. Then as she or he grows to be a bit more forceful.” A sad longing entered her green eyes as she relived her nightmare of the past two and a half years. “Excuse me, please.”

“What happened to her?” Dr. Nolan inquired after they were alone, still looking at the closed door.

“She recently lost her baby about a year ago. She would have had a daughter. The funeral was trying at times especially went she had to name her.”

“What did she name her?” Rakel almost didn’t want to know because the lingering grief from both women.

“Cleo Rana, after her grandmother and me.” She slipped however the young doctor was still focused on the closed door.

After a few more firmly warnings about her health, LaRayne was free to leave. She found Maggie waiting outside in the parking lot, completely composed and more than ready to leave. They were almost to LaRayne’s little house outside of the city when she was brave enough to break the strained silence.

“If this becomes too much for you, let me know now. I want you there at the birth but if you rather not­­-”

“I will be there, LaRayne,” she only used her name like that when she was wholly serious about something. “Nothing short of death could stop me now. I have to make sure you and our daring baby come through this ordeal in one peace. Don’t worry about me. Just worry about you and your little one.”

“I want you to be godmother.” LaRayne felt the tears filling her eyes at the brave face her chum put on for her. She could never image the pain of losing a baby and prayed to God never to find out.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, my friend.” Maggie pulled into the driveway hoping she could keep the tears at bay until she was alone. No stress for LaRayne the doctor’s words rang in her ears or she’d be at a higher risk of losing her baby. Actually it wasn’t so bad now that some time had passed but she still left like she had this huge hole in her heart and soul. Her heart went with William and her soul with her baby girl.

“Are you going to be all right, sweetie?”

“Of course, silly! You better get to bed now. I’ll be here in the morning to pick you up for work.” Maggie pasted a strained smile on her stiff lips and quickly took her leave. She was forced to pull over a few blocks from her apartment because her vision blurred terribly and sobbed her grief into her cupped hands.

That night for LaRayne was like any other night since she met Jase, the father of her baby. She had meant to get his last name but that was before his jealous wife rudely walked in on them. God, she could still see clear as day…

LaRayne finally decided on the last night of the cruise would be the night she and Jase would become lovers for the first time. It would make the cruise that much more memorable and a start to what was between them. They had spent every spare moment he had between his business dealings he was on getting to know each other. She wore her silk white sundress that showed off her tanned skin and put a glow of good health about her.

Jase had somehow arranged to have a private romantic dinner for them complete with candlelight and soft music in his staterooms. It was his surprise he promised her on their second date, although he never hinted at what the surprise was going to be. Just that it would be special for both of them.

“How did you do all this?” She breathed in a delighted whisper hardly able to believe this man was real and not a whimsy fantasy she had dreamed. He gracefully seated her at the table for two before he took his opposite her. He reached out took her trembling cold hand in his large warm one.

“You’re cold as ice, baby. Come here let me you.” He urged her around the label and into his lap wrapping his arms closely about her. She could feel the steady beat of his heart next to hers as their eyes locked. She couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, which she didn’t.

“Remember, when I told you the time would be right…”she hedged hoping he wouldn’t make her say it. She felt the blush start at her thinly clad breasts up her throat to settle on her cheeks.
Jase remained silent encouraging her to say the words that would release him from the promise he made to her the first time they almost came together. He promised not to rush her until she told him she was ready for the next step in their relationship. But that didn’t by any means stop him from seducing her every chance he got. He wasn’t about to let her get away from him. He wished she’d understand his dark little secret he had kept from her in the beginning.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” She gave a nervous little giggle wanting to hide her face in her hands. She fought the urge afraid what she would miss seeing in his steamy black bedroom eyes. Her finger wanted to tangle through his neatly combed mussing it like she always did in her dreams.

He kept gazing in her steely sapphire eyes a wicked grin enhanced his handsome face. Still he waited breathlessly for her words. He wouldn’t move a muscle or save her from her embarrassment of admitting she wanted him. His hands rested deceptively at ease on her slender waist although his thumbs stroked her through her dress as if to test her softness and warmth. God, how he longed to carry her to the bed in the room behind them and give her all the loving he had within him.

“You know this is silly really.” She faltered skittishly taking a minute to ponder a way to save her dignity but still have him make love to her without saying the words. She gave him the smile he thought was just for him before her golden head dipped to the place between his neck and shoulder to sample a taste.

Jase felt her breath on his skin and almost said the hell with his promise yet it was extremely important to him for her to trust him completely. When he felt her soft wet tongue lick a taste of his hot skin he nearly cleared the table with a ruthless sweep of his arm and took her there. But he wanted more than just the sweet release she could give him every time they met. He wanted her in his bed with soft begging cries of passion on her lips. And he would have it even if it killed him.

“Say the words, woman!” He roughly commanded still holding his iron control over his intense passion for this little sprite.

Her legs straddled him and her lush hips bucked against his feeling his need for her. She cried in soft enchantment feeling how ready he was for her. She wanted him to carry her to bed and end this foolish game between them.

She wasn’t sure who cried off first, but suddenly she was in bed with him doing blissful delicious things to each to other and finally knowing what it was to be a woman.

“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?” He breathed heavily in their aftermath of wondrous passion. “Why didn’t you say I was your first man?” He was incredibly pleased his was yet not sure why she didn’t trust him enough to say anything.

“So, this is the little tramp you’re with!” The bedroom door flung opened by a tall willowy woman accompanied by bright flashes of a camera taking horrid pictures of them together in bed.

LaRayne sprang away from his arms clutching the sheet to her heaving breasts trying to take in what was happening. A small little man eagerly taking her picture escorted by a pretty woman with short black hair and flashing brown eyes. She couldn’t understand what she was saying but she heard the word husband and wife flung about her.

“My God, you’re married?” LaRayne looked through Jase as if she hadn’t just given him the only precious thing she could offer a man. Tears gathered foolishly in her eyes blurring his stunningly handsome facial features. The proud straight Roman nose, the bottomless ebony eyes, and the softly lying lips that introduced her to her first taste of love. Love…? She scoffed bitterly suddenly needing to be away from him and this striking gorgeous woman that was his wife!

“She didn’t know, Jasey?” His wife laughed ruefully as if finding her husband with another woman an every day occurrence. “Of course, you weren’t the first one and sadly to say not the last. Oh, you poor poor dear, don’t tell me his was your first? Even though he is a magnificent lover.

“Ah, I see he was. Well as much as I hate to tell you he really likes to have women that are rather poor. I can’t image why he would go for you because you seem well together, my dear.” Laura made sure she did her homework before she barged in on them and was tremendously satisfied watching the emotions fluttered across the tramp’s face like an opened book.

“You see, dear, we are came for this cruise to rekindle our love and try to make a baby. Jase so wants babies and we tried very hard during this trip. Time will tell, won’t it?” She couldn’t stop the last barb to go left unchallenged.

“You’re here with your wife and not a business trip?”

“Business trip?” Laura gaffed looking adoringly at her husband standing by the bed with the comforter wrapped about his lean hips.

“Oh my God!” LaRayne swathed herself with the white sheet like a mantle as she rose from bed leaving behind her favorite white dress and favorite sandals. She had to escape while the going was good. She didn’t spare a look at her lover as she ran for the door. Tears already cut a bitter path down her pale cheeks and wished to hide them from these people. Especially from Jase.

“Rana, dammit! Wait!” Jase tried to go after her but Laura managed to stop him with the help of the cameraman. “Let me go, damn you!”

“You can’t go after her, darling. I need to tell you something. Please stay with me.”

“Perhaps it’s best for now…”the door slammed closed cutting off the rest of what he had said to his wife.

That was all LaRayne needed to hear to destroy her dreams of being with him. She dashed to her room where she stayed until the ship docked. She was the first one off that dawn morning foolishly thought it would be with Jase and to their new beginning. What a laugh!

And now here she was pregnant with his baby dreading to tell her mother and sister what she had done in a weak romantic cruise that ended horribly. What would they think of her? Usually LaRayne was the one that had it all or so it would have seem. Her little sister looked up to her and her mother depended on her for financial support until after Jewel was finished with college.
Her new business was barely beginning to show a profit, at least one enough to be able to give money to her family and to live comfortably.

The main concern for her was how to break the news to her mother and Jewel? And Mother tell her father that he was soon-to-be a grandfather? God in Heaven! How would her mother take being a grandmother when she was about to have an empty nest?