Hearts Ablazed ~ Insert

Chapter One

November, New York

“Don’t forget we have a doctor’s appointment today after work, boss lady.” Maggie Sterling reminded her busy boss as she passed by her opened door bared down with other fashion accounts.

“What are you talking about, Maggie?” LaRayne DeWinter briefly looked up from her clustered desk trying to make sense of the jumbled Jackson Enterprises accounts. They were a mess with missing information and costly materials changes. Although to no fault of her little company their clients had made so many changes since the original designs patterns. The last minute alterations had prices skyrocketing from the original contract that the client only wanted to the best to be working on it. So that meant her since she was the boss.

She had only just received notice from the contact person, a Miss Christy Adams, today that her boss personally requested to have her work hands on the reinventions of the Jackson’s cruise lines. At least one of the ships the owner had didn’t like any of the color skits her top designers had spent so much time and effort to put together.

So for the most of the morning, afternoon and early evening this was her top priory in order to finally make her little designer store world known. Her dream ever since she was a little girl almost a reality after years of growing up poor with a baby sister to help her mother raise. The man who has sired them came from a very wealthy old family from the South and who believed her mother was social suicide to marry beneath his station. LaRayne wasn’t about to let her mother and sister fall through the cracks of the welfare system making just enough money not to collect any type of aide.

LaRayne threw herself in her work harder and faster to be able to help support her humble family. Now was her chance to get her mother the little cottage by the lake she always dreamed about and lastly to get them out of the city, and that little rat hole that housed her family in the seedy part of the city.

“Don’t tell me you forgot! LaRayne Lisbeth DeWinter, I cannot believe you!” Maggie quickly passed her an armload of files of another worker before she closeted herself in her boos’ office. “The most important doctor’s appointment about your health you have to go to every month ever since you came back from your cruise! Really, I don’t know what you would do without me.”

“Perhaps, have a bit more money to sink back into my company?” LaRayne mischievously teased soften by a tiny grin on her pouty pink lips, but her friend wasn’t having any of that. “I was only kidding, I’ll have you know. Of course, I would be a basket case without you, Mags.”

“Your health isn’t a laughing matter with me as well as you know.” Maggie had lost her husband at an early age because he refused to see a doctor about the lump he developed on his chest. He was later diagnosed with fatal cancer and only had a couple of months left to live. If he only had went to the doctor's earlier they might have been able to detect it and give him a fighting chance.

“I didn’t mean…” Words rarely failed LaRayne and this was one of those sporadic times, so she snapped her mouth shut in graceful defeat. “Listen, I’m sorry but I’m not like William. I really have to finish this report by the end of the day.”

“At the risk of losing your baby? Try again.” Her personal assistant sharply recapped her boss’ condition, her cat like green eyes lower her LaRayne’s slightly curving belly and was filled with remembered pain for not only did she lose her husband but unborn their baby to boot. “I don’t think that I could live with the fact you miscarried with improper health care. I had to live through it once.

“And speaking of babies and where they come from…” she hedged stubbornly ever since LaRayne told her she was having a baby. “Are you ever going to tell me who the father is? I know you had to met him on the cruise! Spill!”

“I told you it shouldn’t have happened. He is a married man.”

“That didn’t stop him from bedding you before he got around to telling you about his snooty physco bitch of a screwball of a wife. You must have a picture from the cruise you went on. He’s got to be in at least one of them!”

Maggie had surprised LaRayne with a vacation cruise to get away from the stress of the office and to enjoy herself since she rarely took the time to enjoy life. It had to do more with the plain fact she was driving her staff crazy because everything had to be perfect.

So, for one month with nothing to do but relax in the sun and enjoy the sun on a tropical voyage, all she had to do was to enjoy herself. At least that was the plan until she met the man of her dreams. Tall, dark and handsome with stormy fervent dark bedroom eyes that could strip a nun naked without feeling like it was a sin.

Those weeks were magical for her as she spent every moment she could with him, never daring to believe another woman already had claimed him for a romantic cruise. God, if she started to think about him she would cry and never stop, felling her eyes brimmed with hot moisture. No, it was safer to tell herself it was all a beautiful dream that nothing that wonderful could be real. Until she ended up pregnant from their incredible one night of steamy hot love one read only in romance novels on a stormy night when the power when out.

She would never believed such passion was real till it nearly knocked her down and stole her breath from its tenderness. She was too much of a practical person to think the ‘movie magic’ syndrome that came in the size of the man of her dreams.

“Ohh, don’t you dare shed a tear for that jerk! Whoever he is! You didn’t know until it was too late to put an end to it, honey.” Maggie gathered her close trying to calm the raging storm that brew within her since the day she read the home pregnancy test and all those rushed runs to the bathroom before she tossed her cookies.

Doctor Rakel Nolan had told her her morning sickness would be waning soon. The sooner the better, LaRayne firmly kept telling herself over and over again. All she needed to do was munch on toast or crackers for the morning sickness to leave her in peace. The only problem with that was just the mere thought of food…“Oh no!”

Maggie barely got the wastebasket to her as she dry heaved herself silly and then some for good measure. “C’mon, let’s get you to the sofa, ‘mom’.”

LaRayne leaned heavily on Maggie’s offered shoulder praying the nausea and the queasiness away. She wondered what God she offended to have to endure this part of being a woman. Her mother told her time and time again she had spent a single day with morning sickness with her two joyfully beautiful babies.

Her mother hardly talked about their father, only that he was an important man with other responsibilities. Adrian LaRayne DeWinter always had a sad far away look in her soft blue eyes each time they asked about their father.

LaRayne hated him for that, hurting the most sweetest woman she ever knew and for leaving them to fend for themselves. When she would meet him one day she would tell him he didn’t deserve her mother or his daughters. She would also inform he they were too good and important to have him in their lives.

She could only surmise this was just punishment of sleeping with a married man. If she slept with a single man surely she wouldn’t be punished like this. It was the only thing she could tell herself other than soon this semester would end…only for another to begin.

“I don’t understand why God made woman bearers for children. I would love to see a man try to handle this.”

“Ah, but we women couldn’t hold it over their heads for the rest of their lives.” Maggie chuckled wickedly a bright twinkle lit her usually somber eyes. “Just think if you told me who the father is I’d make him suffer worst than you, my friend. You know you can count on me.”

“I can just image,” LaRayne sighed wearily wishing the day was over so she could go home to her new kitten and her big comfy bed. Ahh, Heaven. Yet for now not a possibility because she had to get in order the Jackson account and then go to her doctor’s appointment.

“We have to leave now if we are to make the appointment, dearie.” Maggie took the papers from her hands laid them on the clustered desk with varied samples skits for the hotel rooms. She grabbed their coats from the coat rack by LaRayne’s closed office door. “I’m driving.”

“We?” LaRayne groaned uneasily especially when she had to have Maggie drive her anywhere. The woman was a road warrior terror in any kind of traffic. She would be safer taking a cab or the subway than driving with her.

Throwing up her hands in surrender she snatched her purse from her desk drawer as she followed. She hoped after seeing the doctor she would be able to get back to the office to do some more work.

The drive wasn’t as bad as LaRayne thought although, there was a time when she thought she’d end up in the hospital when another vehicle cut them off in front of them from an oncoming ramp. Her ears were still ringing from the words her assistant threw out the window while they passed the truck. Luckily it stopped there and the big intimating man took the next exist not before he threw her the finger.

“What did I do?” She whispered to herself having enough to do with men to last her a lifetime. They were nothing but trouble from the first she met the man that impregnated her. Just take a long good look at her.

“We’re here to see Dr. Nolan.” Maggie told the desk nurse not about to wait for the nurse to service her. She took care of all the paper work as LaRayne silently fretted as she had every time she had to come see her doctor. She knew she wasn’t following Dr. Nolan orders and the woman would know it just as soon as she had her sitting in a paper gown seated on the edge of the table.

“Are you okay? You look a little pale.” Maggie hovered closely a frown marred her smooth brow chancing a look at her when she had asked her a question on the form she didn’t know.
It was really wonderful to have her childhood friend for her assistant because there weren’t many uncomfortable moments between them. They had met nearly twenty years ago through the old neighborhood.

Maggie had family across the street from where she lived on the better side of town. It was instant friendship and they became very close despite the years they attended colleges. LaRayne had always tried to keep tabs on her afraid she would have lost her very best friend.
“Earth to Rainy? Are you okay or do you want me to get Dr. Nolan right now?”

“Ah, no I can wait. Really, I’m fine. I think it was something I ate that didn’t agree with me.” She lied smoothly hating to do so but she didn’t want Maggie to worry about her when she was finally dating again. She knew if Maggie knew about the high-risk pregnancy she would never leave her alone. Some things LaRayne needed to do alone and nurturing her baby was one of them.

“You don’t look all right to me. I’m getting the doctor, so you might as well give…” the words fazed out with an insistent buzzing in LaRayne’s ears. She tried to shack her head but her vision dimmed and suddenly her body strangely heavy like she was falling.

“Oh my God, get Dr. Nolan now! Don’t just stand stupid there!”

“LaRayne? Can you hear me? It’s Dr. Nolan. I want you to open your eyes for me. Can you do that?” A female harried voice demanded to know as LaRayne felt a cold compresses on her forehead and around her neck.

Why did doctors always ask insane questions like that? Of course, she could open her eyes! When she tried they suddenly felt so heavy like they had tiny persistent weighs tied to each lid. How was she going to get them open, she wondered in a dazed panic.

“I warned her about this.” Dr. Nolan sighed heavily still trying to revive her patient from her faint. She hazarded a glance over her shoulder at Maggie. “You shouldn’t be in here.”

“Warned her about what?” Maggie blithely ignored her as she snapped sharply worried about her friend and her unborn baby. “She didn’t tell me anything about being warned. Tell me, Dr. Nolan just what did you warn her about?”

Oh dear God, please shut the doctor up! Please don’t let her say anything to Maggie. LaRayne prayed silently knowing she would never hear the end of it. She just wanted to sleep and have a little peace in her life.

“Who are you? I don’t remember Miss DeWinter with you the last time she came for her visit.”

“I’m her sister, Jewel DeWinter. Can’t you see the family resemblance? I had a lot of people think I was my sister.” Maggie innocently introduced herself not about to let up until she had her questions answered.

LaRayne would have happily strangled her if she could get her body to follow her orders. Pity, she remained where she was laying.

“What’s wrong with my sister?” Maggie folded her arms across her chest impatiently waiting for the doctor to spill the beans. “The only way I’ll leave you alone is if you tell me. All right, my sister would want you to tell me. I promise.”

“Weeelll…the stress is the main cause LaRayne is experiencing compilations with her pregnancy. This is one of the many warning signs. She has to take it easy or she may end up losing the baby if not her health.”

LaRayne felt like she was in a coffin and the doctor’s helpful words hammered the loose nails nicely through the lid. She wanted to have her baby! She already loved it with a fierce protectiveness that stole her breath away each time she thought about the baby’s father finding out about them. She knew without a doubt he would take the baby away once she gave birth given by his wife’s spiteful words the night she caught them together. She wasn’t about to let that happen. She would be damned to hell for a lifetime before she gave up her baby to anyone. Even to the Grim Reaper him or herself!

“I can’t believe she didn’t tell me! When she wakes up, just she waits until she gets a load of me.” Maggie’s harsh words caused LaRayne to inwardly wince. She could only image the terror Maggie would reign over her and the months to come. Actually she may never want to come out from her faint. Could she actually fake a coma?

“I can’t have you adding to her stress, Miss DeWinter.”

“Call me Jewel, please and I would never add to her stress, but take as much of it away as I can.” She reassured the doctor a gleeful smile that brightened her face.

“Very well,” then to she turned all her attention back to her patient. “LaRayne, I want you to focus on my voice and slowly open your eyes for me.”

The first thing she saw was Dr. Nolan’s concerned face then “Jewel’s” cheerfully vengeful one. Oh yeah, she was in some hot water here. She could only wait and see what the little imp had planned for her and nearly groaned aloud her misery. As if morning sickness wasn’t punishment enough. God made sure she had Maggie to hover over her like a wet hen wanting to protect her chic.

“Welcome back, there.” Maggie’s smile increased delightfully as the doctor began to check her patient. “Image the good report Dr. Nolan kindly informed me.”

LaRayne had been moved to an examining room in the back of the doctor’s office after her faint and for which she was eternally grateful. She didn’t want to think of the scene she caused when she fainted or the even bigger fuss Maggie caused.

“I see that you also lost more weight, LaRayne. It could be from the morning sickness, but you need to really start eating more or it’s another risk to you both.” The doctor commented gravely but overall pleased how the trimester was coming along. “Pretty soon you’ll feel a fluttering in your belly. That will be the baby moving.”

“Moving?” LaRayne squeaked nervously looking at Maggie for support only to find her so-called sister smiling from ear to ear. She knew babies moved within the womb but to her it was akin to unbelievable. “I changed my mind. I don’t want to feel it moving inside of me.”

“Calm down, now. It’s perfectly normal and by the by it’s too late to abort the child.” Dr. Nolan’s practiced smile plainly told her she became used to mothers-to-be about things like this nature. She knew LaRayne wanted the baby or she would have terminated the pregnancy long before now. They had discussed the options available to her, but LaRayne flatly refused to do anything except have her baby.

“It doesn’t hurt, Rainy.” Maggie confided in a soft whisper beside her. “It feels soft like angel wings the first couple of times. Then as she or he grows to be a bit more forceful.” A sad longing entered her green eyes as she relived her nightmare of the past two and a half years. “Excuse me, please.”

“What happened to her?” Dr. Nolan inquired after they were alone, still looking at the closed door.

“She recently lost her baby about a year ago. She would have had a daughter. The funeral was trying at times especially went she had to name her.”

“What did she name her?” Rakel almost didn’t want to know because the lingering grief from both women.

“Cleo Rana, after her grandmother and me.” She slipped however the young doctor was still focused on the closed door.

After a few more firmly warnings about her health, LaRayne was free to leave. She found Maggie waiting outside in the parking lot, completely composed and more than ready to leave. They were almost to LaRayne’s little house outside of the city when she was brave enough to break the strained silence.

“If this becomes too much for you, let me know now. I want you there at the birth but if you rather not­­-”

“I will be there, LaRayne,” she only used her name like that when she was wholly serious about something. “Nothing short of death could stop me now. I have to make sure you and our daring baby come through this ordeal in one peace. Don’t worry about me. Just worry about you and your little one.”

“I want you to be godmother.” LaRayne felt the tears filling her eyes at the brave face her chum put on for her. She could never image the pain of losing a baby and prayed to God never to find out.

“I wouldn’t have it any other way, my friend.” Maggie pulled into the driveway hoping she could keep the tears at bay until she was alone. No stress for LaRayne the doctor’s words rang in her ears or she’d be at a higher risk of losing her baby. Actually it wasn’t so bad now that some time had passed but she still left like she had this huge hole in her heart and soul. Her heart went with William and her soul with her baby girl.

“Are you going to be all right, sweetie?”

“Of course, silly! You better get to bed now. I’ll be here in the morning to pick you up for work.” Maggie pasted a strained smile on her stiff lips and quickly took her leave. She was forced to pull over a few blocks from her apartment because her vision blurred terribly and sobbed her grief into her cupped hands.

That night for LaRayne was like any other night since she met Jase, the father of her baby. She had meant to get his last name but that was before his jealous wife rudely walked in on them. God, she could still see clear as day…

LaRayne finally decided on the last night of the cruise would be the night she and Jase would become lovers for the first time. It would make the cruise that much more memorable and a start to what was between them. They had spent every spare moment he had between his business dealings he was on getting to know each other. She wore her silk white sundress that showed off her tanned skin and put a glow of good health about her.

Jase had somehow arranged to have a private romantic dinner for them complete with candlelight and soft music in his staterooms. It was his surprise he promised her on their second date, although he never hinted at what the surprise was going to be. Just that it would be special for both of them.

“How did you do all this?” She breathed in a delighted whisper hardly able to believe this man was real and not a whimsy fantasy she had dreamed. He gracefully seated her at the table for two before he took his opposite her. He reached out took her trembling cold hand in his large warm one.

“You’re cold as ice, baby. Come here let me you.” He urged her around the label and into his lap wrapping his arms closely about her. She could feel the steady beat of his heart next to hers as their eyes locked. She couldn’t look away even if she wanted to, which she didn’t.

“Remember, when I told you the time would be right…”she hedged hoping he wouldn’t make her say it. She felt the blush start at her thinly clad breasts up her throat to settle on her cheeks.
Jase remained silent encouraging her to say the words that would release him from the promise he made to her the first time they almost came together. He promised not to rush her until she told him she was ready for the next step in their relationship. But that didn’t by any means stop him from seducing her every chance he got. He wasn’t about to let her get away from him. He wished she’d understand his dark little secret he had kept from her in the beginning.

“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” She gave a nervous little giggle wanting to hide her face in her hands. She fought the urge afraid what she would miss seeing in his steamy black bedroom eyes. Her finger wanted to tangle through his neatly combed mussing it like she always did in her dreams.

He kept gazing in her steely sapphire eyes a wicked grin enhanced his handsome face. Still he waited breathlessly for her words. He wouldn’t move a muscle or save her from her embarrassment of admitting she wanted him. His hands rested deceptively at ease on her slender waist although his thumbs stroked her through her dress as if to test her softness and warmth. God, how he longed to carry her to the bed in the room behind them and give her all the loving he had within him.

“You know this is silly really.” She faltered skittishly taking a minute to ponder a way to save her dignity but still have him make love to her without saying the words. She gave him the smile he thought was just for him before her golden head dipped to the place between his neck and shoulder to sample a taste.

Jase felt her breath on his skin and almost said the hell with his promise yet it was extremely important to him for her to trust him completely. When he felt her soft wet tongue lick a taste of his hot skin he nearly cleared the table with a ruthless sweep of his arm and took her there. But he wanted more than just the sweet release she could give him every time they met. He wanted her in his bed with soft begging cries of passion on her lips. And he would have it even if it killed him.

“Say the words, woman!” He roughly commanded still holding his iron control over his intense passion for this little sprite.

Her legs straddled him and her lush hips bucked against his feeling his need for her. She cried in soft enchantment feeling how ready he was for her. She wanted him to carry her to bed and end this foolish game between them.

She wasn’t sure who cried off first, but suddenly she was in bed with him doing blissful delicious things to each to other and finally knowing what it was to be a woman.

“Why didn’t you tell me, baby?” He breathed heavily in their aftermath of wondrous passion. “Why didn’t you say I was your first man?” He was incredibly pleased his was yet not sure why she didn’t trust him enough to say anything.

“So, this is the little tramp you’re with!” The bedroom door flung opened by a tall willowy woman accompanied by bright flashes of a camera taking horrid pictures of them together in bed.

LaRayne sprang away from his arms clutching the sheet to her heaving breasts trying to take in what was happening. A small little man eagerly taking her picture escorted by a pretty woman with short black hair and flashing brown eyes. She couldn’t understand what she was saying but she heard the word husband and wife flung about her.

“My God, you’re married?” LaRayne looked through Jase as if she hadn’t just given him the only precious thing she could offer a man. Tears gathered foolishly in her eyes blurring his stunningly handsome facial features. The proud straight Roman nose, the bottomless ebony eyes, and the softly lying lips that introduced her to her first taste of love. Love…? She scoffed bitterly suddenly needing to be away from him and this striking gorgeous woman that was his wife!

“She didn’t know, Jasey?” His wife laughed ruefully as if finding her husband with another woman an every day occurrence. “Of course, you weren’t the first one and sadly to say not the last. Oh, you poor poor dear, don’t tell me his was your first? Even though he is a magnificent lover.

“Ah, I see he was. Well as much as I hate to tell you he really likes to have women that are rather poor. I can’t image why he would go for you because you seem well together, my dear.” Laura made sure she did her homework before she barged in on them and was tremendously satisfied watching the emotions fluttered across the tramp’s face like an opened book.

“You see, dear, we are came for this cruise to rekindle our love and try to make a baby. Jase so wants babies and we tried very hard during this trip. Time will tell, won’t it?” She couldn’t stop the last barb to go left unchallenged.

“You’re here with your wife and not a business trip?”

“Business trip?” Laura gaffed looking adoringly at her husband standing by the bed with the comforter wrapped about his lean hips.

“Oh my God!” LaRayne swathed herself with the white sheet like a mantle as she rose from bed leaving behind her favorite white dress and favorite sandals. She had to escape while the going was good. She didn’t spare a look at her lover as she ran for the door. Tears already cut a bitter path down her pale cheeks and wished to hide them from these people. Especially from Jase.

“Rana, dammit! Wait!” Jase tried to go after her but Laura managed to stop him with the help of the cameraman. “Let me go, damn you!”

“You can’t go after her, darling. I need to tell you something. Please stay with me.”

“Perhaps it’s best for now…”the door slammed closed cutting off the rest of what he had said to his wife.

That was all LaRayne needed to hear to destroy her dreams of being with him. She dashed to her room where she stayed until the ship docked. She was the first one off that dawn morning foolishly thought it would be with Jase and to their new beginning. What a laugh!

And now here she was pregnant with his baby dreading to tell her mother and sister what she had done in a weak romantic cruise that ended horribly. What would they think of her? Usually LaRayne was the one that had it all or so it would have seem. Her little sister looked up to her and her mother depended on her for financial support until after Jewel was finished with college.
Her new business was barely beginning to show a profit, at least one enough to be able to give money to her family and to live comfortably.

The main concern for her was how to break the news to her mother and Jewel? And Mother tell her father that he was soon-to-be a grandfather? God in Heaven! How would her mother take being a grandmother when she was about to have an empty nest?